Thursday, July 14, 2011

He was eating and was used sandwich, water and cheese. He was used fish, fly and drinkmilk with tea. was somone right eat brak fast he was used braed, tommeto and eggs. he was drinktea. Then give Mr, Bean some of bread, tommeto and eggs. Was Mr. Bean very happy beacuse pepole give some of eat. but pepole was angree becuse he did it. Mr. bean he like eat and drink milk with tea . He watch pepole eat break fast . Mr. bean he was plan get of pepole eat . Get Mr. bean eat of pepole.

1 comment:

NR said...

Good work! You have very good detail. You need to add some transition words to show the order in the paragraph. Here are some changes to make in the next draft.
--Topic sentence: Who is the main idea of the paragraph?
--Do you mean "making" a sandwich?
--Why did you write was used?
--Please double-check your spelling!
--Why did you write people? There is only one other man in the video?
--Make sure that every sentence has both a subject and a verb!